


It was Only a Kiss

by UFO_Spotter26



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Apologies, Breaking Up & Making Up, Drunk Dialing, Forgiveness, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealous Noel, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Injuries, Slightly jealous Cody, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-19 13:07:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22711279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UFO_Spotter26/pseuds/UFO_Spotter26
Summary: Noel drunk dials Cody after he hurts himself.
Relationships: Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Comments: 10
Kudos: 121





	It was Only a Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [cherry](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22686229) by [princeollie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/princeollie/pseuds/princeollie). 



> If you haven't read the fic that inspired this one you should go and read it because it's very good!!

It's dark outside and he's alone again, dreading tomorrow, he doesn't want to be faced with the fact that he's by himself the day before Valentine's day. He's drinking but he wouldn't say he's drunk even though there's only a few gulps left sloshing inside the bottle he's holding. He's fucking miserable but the alcohol is doing a good job at making him forget just how sad he really is. He closes twitter and checks Cody's Instagram even though he knows he shouldn't. He sees him smiling in a picture with a few people. It looked like a few friends out for dinner but there's a guy in the picture with his arm around Cody's waist and Noel knows the touch is more than friendly. There's a light blush across Cody's cheeks and he knows he only looks like that when he likes the person he's around. He scrolls through the pictures and the guy keeps popping up everywhere, arms and hands seeming to always touch him in every picture he's in like Cody was a magnet and this guy was stuck. Noel feels like throwing up but instead he keeps looking through them and going to different profiles finding videos of the friends dancing and in one he sees the guy kissing Cody's neck and pulling him into his lap and Noel can't help it. 

He goes to the guy's profile, looking through his pictures and comparing himself to him. _Cameron._ And of course his name is Cameron. He's got dark hair with silvery blond streaks and his eyes are bright blue. He's perfect, Noel knows he's perfect because he'd probably fuck him too if he wasn't still in love with Cody. He's got a smile that look like he paid top dollar for it and a body it looks like he ripped from a comic book. He hates him, he fucking hates him, and he hates how much he wishes he was him. He keeps looking through his pictures trying to find something, anything that was some sort of flaw he could use to make himself feel better but he can't. The guy's smart and nice and funny and everything Noel knows Cody wants.

He heads to the bathroom, setting his things on the counter before immediately vomiting into the toilet beside him. It doesn't hurt as much as his heart does, but it's enough to burn his throat. He spits the taste from his mouth and wipes his lips with some toilet paper before flushing and standing up. He drinks some more and walks slowly through the hall as he finds Cody's number in his phone. It goes to voicemail and Noel hangs up and redials the number as he walks, tripping and landing on the glass coffee table. The bottle in his hand smashes and he hits his head hard on the wood frame. He groans loud, looking down and feeling a liquid under him that he can't tell if it's whiskey or blood. He ignores it and tries the number three more times before Cody's picking up the phone, "hello?"

"Hey, Cody," he says.

"N-," he cuts himself off, "Noel? What areI'm busy right now you can't just-"

"I miss you," he says.

"Oh my god," he says, "are you drunk?"

"No."

"You've really got to stop calling me."

"What are you doing right now?" 

"I'm with some friends," he says, "we were just having-"

"Is he fucking you," he asks abruptly cutting him off.

"What?"

"That tall beefcake with that boy band dye job," he says, "you know who I'm talking about, does he fuck you?"

"That's none of your business," he says in a hushed voice, "I can't talk right now, I'm-"

"Can you come over?"

"What, why? So we can fight and you can puke all over me? No fucking way, I don't think so."

"I can't get off my floor," he admits, "I think I'm laying in glass."

He sighs, "are you okay?"

"I hit my head on the table really hard and I can't tell if I'm bleeding. It's too dark to see anything."

"Wait, wait, wait. You're laying in the floor, possibly bleeding out because you're too drunk to tell if you're bleeding, and instead of calling an ambulance or 9-1-1 you called me?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice," he says, closing his eyes, "I just needed to hear you talk to me again."

"God damn it," he says, sounding like he's rubbing his temples the way he does before he agrees to something he doesn't really want to do, "okay. I'll be there in a little bit, okay? Can you just... Don't fall asleep, okay? Can you stay awake for me, please?"

"Okay."

"I'm going to call you back in five minutes, alright?"

"You promise?"

"I promise," he says, "just give me five minutes to explain everything and then I'll call you right back and come over, okay?"

"Okay."

He hangs up and Noel lays alone in the darkness, there's pain in his arm and hand and when he shines his phone light on it there's a shard of glass sticking out of his hand, "oh fuck."

He thinks about pulling it out but decides against it and instead counts the minutes that go by on his phone. It's more than five and he starts to think Cody isn't coming, it hits ten and a few minutes of staring at the pieces of glass in his hand hesitating to pull it out he finally gets a phone call. He answers and Cody's voice is in his ears once more, "hey, you still awake?"

"You said five minutes," he says, trying not to slur his words.

"I know," he tells him, "I just had to talk to my friend about something. That doesn't matter, I'm here, okay? Shine your phone light, tell me what you see."

"There's a lot of glass in my hand," he says, "you think I should I pull it out?"

"No! Just, let me get you to a doctor, okay. I'm on my way now. Just talk to me so I know you're alive."

"I miss you," he says.

"I know you do," he says softly.

"No. You don't. You really don't. I mean I _really_ miss you. It's so fucking hard to sleep in this apartment without you next to me. I hate it here." 

"If you don't like the apartment you can always move."

"No," he says, "I hate it _here_ I hate being without you. I fucking hate being alone, Cody. I fuckin' miss you all the time. I keep seeing you all around me even when you're not really there. I wake up I think about you, I try to go to sleep I think about you. I try to fuck other people and I always picture you. But they're not you and they never feel like you or sound like you when I'm with them. And then there's this fuckin' _ache_ in my chest."

"Is it glass," he asks quickly.

"No. This is before I fell. I feel this ache in my chest when I think about you. I think I'm broken," he says.

"You're not broken," he says.

"I am," he says, on the verge of tears, "I'm broken."

"I know what that ache feels like," Cody tells him, "the only thing that's broken is your heart."

"My heart is broken," he says.

"I'm here," he says, "I'll be up in just a second."

"Do you ever think about me," he asks, sniffling and wiping his face with his wrist before putting the phone back to his ear. 

"Yeah," he says, "I think about you all the time."

"Do you miss me like I miss you?"

"Sometimes," he says, "sometimes I'll think about something or see or hear something and you're the first person I want to talk to and tell about it but then I remember that I can't. I remember that we're not together anymore and that things aren't the way they used to be."

"Do you still love me?"

The door unlocks, "I'm here."

He flicks the lights on when he's inside and Noel turns his head to his voice seeing him panic, "okay, yeah, we need to get you to a hospital."

"You're here," he smiles. 

"Yeah, I'm here," he says, giving him a weak smile, "let's get you up."

He helps him to his feet, keeping him from touching the floor as he carefully slips an arm around his torso and moves Noel's around his neck as he walks him out of the apartment and into the elevator. Noel shifts his weight onto him and when Cody gets him to his car he's helping him inside and buckling him in while he rests his head on the seat. Cody keeps glancing over at him, occasionally touching his shoulder to make sure he's awake as he drives a little slower than the speed limit. He looks around the car, noticing how different it looks on the inside, "did you get a new car?"

"I got new seat covers and mats for the floorboard."

"I'm sorry, I'm probably ruining them," he says. 

"It's fine," he says, "they're black so no one will even notice if they get bloody."

"There's a really big fuckin' piece of glass in my hand right now, Cody."

"Yeah, I see it," he nods, "don't touch it. We're almost there."

When they get to the hospital Cody's walking him inside. He's got Noel's arm around his waist before he's taking the arm and putting it around his neck. Cody's arm comes up around his torso as he walks and Noel's practically leaning against him. The woman behind the sliding glass window goes wide eyed when she sees his hand and nods, "I'll go get a nurse."

Cody sits him in a wheelchair and Noel hopes to god no one will need to use it because he doesn't think he could've made it to the room they were put in. Cody's filling out paperwork and she speaks, "should I go ahead and call his husband?"

And Cody freezes at the word, the pen in his hand no longer writing, "husband?"

Noel shakes his head, "we don't have to call him."

Cody turns to him looking a little upset, and she looks from Noel to Cody back and forth before Cody turns back to the receptionist, "who is listed as his husband?"

"Um, Cody Miller? He's listed as his husband and emergency contact."

He pauses at the name before shaking his head and giving her his own phone number, "um, is that the phone number?"

"Yes," she nods. 

His shoulders relax and he shakes his head, "just checking the number. You don't have to call me, I'm right here."

She nods and when he finishes the paperwork they're being taken back and the glass is being taken from his hand and arm. Noel watches them pull out each piece and complains when it hurts. Cody rubs his back and he hopes there's no glass on his shirt because he doesn't want Cody to hurt himself and stop touching him. He watches them stitch up his hand and he uses the one that doesn't hurt to take Cody's hand and lace their fingers. The dirty blond glances at their hands but doesn't pull away. Noel tunes the doctor out but does hear the words _no concussion, pharmacy,_ and _no heavy lifting._ He's relieved when they can go and picks at his hospital band the whole way home while trying not to touch his bandages too much. 

Cody doesn't seem upset when he's walking him upstairs, even with Noel holding onto him in the elevator and rubbing his face against his neck. Cody shifts, "you haven't shaved your face in a while."

"You like when I grow it out," he says, turning his head, nosing at his skin.

"Don't grow your beard out for me, we're not together anymore." 

"I wish we were," he says, "but you're with that guy."

"That guy is good to me," he says, "he's a nice guy."

"Does he fuck you," he asks, holding onto him. 

"I'm not answering that," he sighs. 

"He does," he says, holding on tighter, "do you like it?"

"Noel-"

"Do you let him hold you when you're done?"

He doesn't say anything but it's all Noel needs to answer his question. The elevator dings and Cody speaks, "we're on your floor. Come on, let's get you in bed."

"I don't want you to go." 

"I'm not leaving," he says, "I'm going to stay and clean up the mess in the living room, make sure you don't trip in the morning and end up at the hospital again or something."

He walks with him into the apartment and he goes to sit on the couch, watching Cody pick up the bigger shards before vacuuming up the rest. He moves the remains of the table to the front door and picks up the empty bottles around the house. Noel thinks he'd be more embarrassed about how many bottles there are if he wasn't still a little drunk. Once it's all clean he watches Cody scrub the carpet, trying to get the whiskey and blood out of the white floor. He half succeeds and ties up the trash and put it by the door, replacing the bag before he helps him to his feet, "you didn't have to clean it all up. I could've done that in the morning. I made the mess I deserved to have picked it up, especially since you already did something nice for me by taking me to the hospital."

"Making sure you didn't die isn't being nice, it's being a decent person. Come on, I'll help you walk to bed."

They head towards the bedroom and when Noel's in he's pulling his shirt off making Cody sigh as he watches him struggle to get it up his body. Cody shakes his head, "let me help you. Lift your arms."

He does as he asks and when the shirt's off Cody's pointing to the bed, "okay, let's get you in bed."

When he gets to the mattress he unbuttons his pants and pulls his socks off before falling back onto the mattress with a groan. Cody leaves the room and comes back with tylenol and a bottle of water, "this is for in the morning."

He helps him with his pants the rest of the way and gets him under the blanket, pulling it up to his shoulders, "I'm going to go, I left you a note telling you when to pick up your medicine at the pharmacy. I'll call you in the morning and make sure you're okay."

"Will you stay with me?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Please," he asks, reaching out with his injured hand and taking Cody's, wincing slightly when his fingers move to hold his hand, "please? I don't want to be alone."

"Just for tonight, okay?"

He turns the light out and takes his pants and socks off before crawling in beside him. Noel's sliding his arms around him and he's pressing his face to the back of his neck, "you smell different. Like a new cologne."

"Get some sleep, Noel."

He frowns and holds him tighter, "I don't like it."

"It's Cameron's," he insists, "it's no big deal." 

"It is."

"It's not," he says, "it's just cologne."

"But it's not mine," he says, feeling like he's about to cry.

Cody's hands slide over his and soon he's turning to face him, moving his arms and slipping them around him, "don't worry about that. Just go to sleep."

"Will you stay?" 

"Of course," he says.

He pulls him closer and rests his head against his, "will you stay forever?"

"Close your eyes," he says, "try and get some sleep, okay?"

\---

His head is pounding when he opens his eyes but when he notices Cody beside him he feels a little better. He moves closer and puts his arms around him before he feels him stir against him. He doesn't know why Cody's here or how he got him back but he's glad he's back. He watches the green eyes open and nothing feels different, it doesn't feel like they broke up at all. Cody looks over him for a minute before pulling the arms off him and standing up, "I shouldn't have stayed last night. I need to go, I have a thing and I-"

"No, wait," Noel tries to push himself up but groans in pain and looks to his hand. 

Cody rushes to his side and sits on the bed near him, "the doctor said not to use that hand. You have a fuckload of stitches."

"What happened?"

His shoulders relax and he looks slightly upset, "you don't remember?"

He shakes his head and Cody rubs his forehead, "of course not. Of course not, because you were drunk, I shouldn't expect you to remember."

"Did I hit you," Noel feels himself ask.

"No," he tells him, "you didn't hit me."

"Did I hurt you?"

And Cody stands, "I'm gonna make you a smoothie, it'll be easier for you to have since you're hungover."

"Cody," he says, taking his hand. 

"Can you please not say my name like that," he asks, keeping his eyes away from him. 

"What did I do," he asks, "tell me what I did."

"You called me," he says, "I was finally getting over you and finally starting to move past everything and I found a nice guy who was perfect and smart and nice to me who liked me. I mean _really_ liked me, you know? And then we're out with friends having fun, having a really good time and then you called me."

He turns to him, and his eyes are watering and Noel feels like he should move closer, put his arms around him but he doesn't move. Cody shakes his head, "and I just thought it was some random person because I didn't have the number saved because I deleted your number trying to get over you but then you called like a million times and I was so annoyed because Cameron and I were having such a good time. And then I heard your voice and I-"

He cuts himself off and rubs his face, "fuck, it was like I didn't even know how much I missed you until I heard your voice again. And I was going to hang up, I was out with friends I was out with my _boyfriend,_ I was going to hang up. But then you told me you were laying in glass, possibly bleeding and I should have called you an ambulance. I should have just let the paramedics deal with you but then I remembered that argument we had about whether we'd ever call an ambulance for each other and then all I could hear was you telling me how expensive they were and that you didn't want to pay that kind of hospital bill and so I came and got you."

Cody grabs his pants, pulling them up before finally sitting on the bed, rubbing his eyes, "and then you just kept going on about how much you missed me and that you hated the apartment because you were alone and I wasn't going to fall for it. I _told_ myself I wasn't going to fall for that shit because I knew you didn't mean it and I didn't want to get hurt again but then we fucking got to the hospital and they asked if I should call your husband. I'd never been so fuckin' angry in my life, and then she tells me your husband is Cody Miller and that the number is my number and I knew I was fucked. I knew I wasn't over you."

Noel sits beside him and holds his cheek and Cody pushes the hand away and shakes his head when he stands, "I can't. I can't have you touch me right now. I just need to be... I need breakfast. I need a smoothie. I can't do _this_ right now."

He stands up and heads to the bathroom and Noel's finally stopped holding his breath. He swallows the forming lump in his throat and when Cody comes out of the bathroom he doesn't meet his eyes when he heads to the kitchen. Noel pulls some sweatpants on and a t-shirt before heading into the kitchen. He has to hold onto his head when he hears the blender but when he looks to the door and sees the coffee table and a trash bag he feels like shit. He knows he didn't clean up last night because he definitely would have been too drunk to do that. Cody must've cleaned up, he took care of him and his apartment and it makes Noel feel even more like a piece of shit.

"I'm sorry," he says whenever the blender stops. 

"It's nothing," he says pouring a glass, "you would have done the same for me if I fucked up my hand."

"I'm not talking about that."

He stops pouring and Noel speaks, "I'm sorry about that night."

"Which part? The part where you left me alone at a party? Or the part where I came home and you were in our bed with someone else?"

"Both," he says, "you didn't deserve that."

"No I fucking didn't," he says turning to look at him, "god and you didn't even say you were sorry. I packed all of my shit and you didn't say a fucking word to me. Not one."

"I knew you didn't want to hear I'm sorry." 

"That's all I wanted to hear," he shouts, "all I ever wanted that day was for you to apologize to me and do everything to try and make it up to me but you didn't! You fucking let me leave and I felt like _shit_ for months and the second I'm finally good, the second I'm finally happy again you just had to call me. It was like you could fucking sense that I was okay and then you just had to come in and give me that _'Oh, I miss you, I can't sleep without you. I'm so broken, I'm so heart broken without you, Cody'_ "

"I'm sorry I called you, I'm sorry I said all that to you, and I'm sorry I ruined dinner with you and your friends."

"I don't care about that," he admits, "I just want to know why. It's been months since everything happened and I never got any answers from you."

"Ask me anything."

"Why'd you leave me at that party?"

"I hate parties like that," he says, "you knew I didn't want to go."

"So it's my fault," he asks. 

"No," he says going wide eyed, "no, it is not your fault! I'm the one who did it, okay? I'm the one who fucked up. I didn't want to go and you were just having a great time by yourself and I was just miserable and stupid and I was the one who decided to drink too much that night. And I know that that's not an excuse, I know it's not."

"So then why'd you do it? Why'd you leave with him?"

"He wanted to leave, I wanted to leave, we decided to share a car and I don't know. I don't know, I wish I had a reason for doing what I did but I don't. He wasn't prettier, I didn't love him more, I didn't even fucking know him. I was just pissed at you and just wanted to leave a party and then he kissed me. He kissed me and I didn't stop him and I took him here and we took off our clothes."

"And you fucked him," he says. 

"No," he points to him, tears slipping down his face, "I didn't! I didn't fuck him! I did not fuck him!"

"You were both naked!" 

"I know what it looked like but I wasn't fucking him when you walked in. He was just on me and we were making out, and I know it doesn't make what happened better. I know telling you this now doesn't make it better but I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Cody. I'm sorry I left you alone at that party, I'm sorry I took someone else home that night, I'm sorry you saw, I'm sorry I let you leave, and I'm sorry for not saying sorry."

"Did you fuck him," he asks, "when I left after seeing you two did you go back and-"

"No. I told him to leave. We only kissed," he says, "I swear to god we only kissed."

"Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"I didn't think you'd believe me, I didn't think you'd want to hear anything I had to say after that! I thought about calling you, I wrote you a million letters trying to figure out what the right words were to apologize, to tell you I fucked up, that I'd make a mistake."

Cody crosses his arms over his chest and Noel walks around the counter to get to him, dropping to his knees in front of him and taking his hands.

"Noel, get up," he says, trying to pull his hands away.

"What can I do?" 

"You can stop doing this," he says.

"Tell me how to make it up to you, tell me what I need to do for you to forgive me. I'll do anything. You wanna hit me? You want me to say I'm sorry every single day? You want me to leave you alone for the rest of your life? Because whatever you want I'll do, whatever you tell me to do I'll do it."

"I just wanted you to tell me you were sorry and that it was a mistake that would never happen again. That's all I ever wanted," he says, and Noel lets go of his hands. Cody's palms are soon resting on his shoulders and he uses his thumbs to wipe the tears falling from Noel's cheeks, "I forgive you."

And a weight feels like it was lifted off his shoulders. He wraps his arms around Cody's waist and holds onto him, pressing his head against his stomach. The movement nearly knocks Cody over but once he's stable he's running his fingers through Noel's hair. He breathes in deep, letting himself relax against him and enjoy the feeling of Cody's hands on his head like this. His arms tighten and soon his voice softens even more as his hand comes to a stop, "will you please get up now?"

He stands and pulls Cody into a hug, his arms wrapping around him and his body fitting with his the way it used to. Cody tenses but soon relaxes and puts his arms around him, head falling between his neck and his shoulder. Noel doesn't want to let go, he doesn't even know if he'll be able to let him go when it's time for him to leave. He swallows at the lump in his throat before dropping his voice to a whisper, "can I hold you? Just for a little bit longer?"

Cody gives a wordless nod and hugs him tighter. Noel's hands rub his back, "just a little longer and then I'll stop. Just a little longer and then I'll let you go back to him."

Cody pulls back and Noel thinks he shouldn't have said it like that, he shouldn't have spoke at all. Cody looks to him and Noel's wiping his face, wondering if he should apologize. But instead he looks at Cody's face, his eyes moving from his eyes to his mouth the way he does when he's silently begging Noel to kiss him. He doesn't move and Cody meets his eyes and swallows before speaking, "I'm not going back to him."

"What?"

"When you called me and told me everything I had to hang up and call you back after I explained to my friends what was going on. Cameron didn't want me to leave. I told him the situation and that you were bleeding and he told me that I shouldn't worry about it, that we should just call an ambulance. We argued for a little bit about it and he told me it was either him or you."

"You left him to come get me?"

"I realized something when he asked me that. I'm always going to pick you," Noel's hands go to cup his face and Cody's hands sit on top of his, "I'm never gonna not pick you."

"Do you think we could try again," Noel asks, "and I don't mean just jump right back in where we were. I wanna go out with you on actual dates, I wanna make you laugh, get to know you again, spend time with you and treat you the way you should be treated."

Cody smiles and Noel feels himself being too sappy and smiles back at him, "I wanna be the guy you show your feet to."

"What," he asks, smile dropping for a moment until Noel's grinning, "I wanna be the guy you ask to suck your toes."

"God," Cody's smile widens and he tries to push him away, "you're still so fucking gross, dude."  
  
He holds on tighter, "I wanna be the first person you call when you get something stuck in your ass."

"Stop," he shakes his head, "nothing's ever getting stuck in my ass."

"Not with me around," he says, kissing his cheek. 

"You know you're pretty handsy for a guy who wants to take things slow."

"You're right," he says, taking a step back, "permission to durf?"

"Permission denied," he says, handing him a glass of a pink-purple liquid, "drink your smoothie."

He nods and drinks while Cody opens the pill bottle for him and hands him the recommended dose, "here."

He tosses them back and uses the smoothie to wash them down, "thanks."

"No problem," he says, pouring himself a glass and leaning against the counter.

Noel checks his phone noticing the time before setting it to the side when Cody sighs, "so, what do we do now? How should we start this? _Us._ "

Noel smiles, "will you be my Valentine?"

"Are you gonna suck my toes?"

"Only if you want me to."

He laughs, cheeks turning pink as he uses the straw to stir his smoothie, "yeah, okay. I'll be your Valentine. You wanna be mine?"

"Will you suck _my_ toes?"

"Absolutely not."

"Not even one toe?"

"Not even to save your life."

"What if we just touched feet?"

He chuckles, trying not to choke on his smoothie, "I'm not touching feet with you either."

"What if we kept our socks on," he asks.

"There's no scenario where we ever touch feet unless it's by accident."

"Oh yeah? _'By accident',_ huh? Alright, I get you. We can call it whatever _you_ want," he says wiggling his brows, making him snort.

He watches Cody's cheeks rise as he tries not to laugh. He stirs his drink and looks to him with the dark green eyes that appeared a little brighter somehow. Noel knows then and there he doesn't ever want to lose him again, and he'd do everything in his power to make sure he didn't lose him this time around. He smiles at him and nods his head, "you drive a hard bargain, Cody, but I'll accept your offer. I'll be your Valentine."

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe one day I'll have the heart to end a fic on a sad note but that day ain't today! Thanks for reading!!


End file.
